money Men Are Sharing "Traditionally Masculine" Things They Actually Hate, And They're Proving That Toxic Gender Roles Don't Just Harm Women
You've definitely heard the phrase "be a man" thrown around in conversations but does anyone actually know what that means?
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It seems like a lot of actions and practices are done because people have been told that they're masculine, but they're actually pointless.
Reddit user u/KingJimi26 recently asked, "What are the dumbest mainstream masculine things that you will never do/understand?"
And here are some of the most mind-boggling ones:
1."Trying to crush someone’s hand when shaking it. It’s a greeting. Not assault."
"My old varsity basketball coach would shake your hand hard if he liked you. If he was mad at you at the time, he wouldn’t even squeeze your hand at all. He had every one of us freaking out, trying to figure out what we did wrong. I think back now and I’m like, Wow, why did I even care. That handshake stuff is stupid."
2."I’m not going to drink my coffee black. I love putting milk and honey in it. I guess I previously believed that it was 'sissy' to add milk and sugar."
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"I think it’s kind of an 'it puts hair on your chest' type of thing, but I don’t blame anyone for wanting their coffee to taste good.
"A mature palate enjoys bitter tastes more. That's why children shy away from coffee and enjoy sweets. The connection between sweet and childlike is where this 'masculine men drink black coffee' comes from."
3."A little wrestling with my brother or the Boys is fun, but fighting is just stupid."
"I took my 4-year-old for an introduction martial arts lesson. The instructor grabbed an experienced participant and my boy, and said to my boy, 'Push him!' My son was like, 'Why should I push him? I don't want to push anybody.' We left."
4."Hyperaggressive pickup tactics with women. You see these guys circling women like sharks and just refusing to take no for an answer. Like, come on dude, she won't suddenly say yes just because you're being pushy and you look like an ass."
5."My dad is almost 90 years old. He's never taken Novocain at the dentist and thought that shampoo was girly when I was a kid."
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6."I always think that the association with what you eat or drink as being manly or not is kind of dumb. It makes no logical sense at all."
7."'Manly men' can keep any and all chewing tobacco."
8."Being stoic 24/7."
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9."Just the way manliness has become a sort of glorified insecurity. Some examples: You won't drink a fruity cocktail because you'd look girly? Afraid to wear pink? Won't hold a purse? Worried you might look gay or effeminate for hugging your guy friend? These are all insecurities."
10."When I was a kid, I asked my dad why he wore pink shirts sometimes because it was a girly color. He just looked at me and said, 'Because I'm man enough to wear pink.' It took me a long time to understand that statement but it's something I think about often when it comes to being a man."
"I may not wear pink myself but I at least realized what he meant, which is that being a man is about being man enough to not care about whether people think what you're doing is manly enough."
11."Not smiling when someone takes your photo. I’m a photographer and I shot so many Christmas holiday parties this past year and these guys are big giggling children until you point a camera at them. Their chins go up, chests pop out, their smiles dissolve to death stares, and they all just put their index finger into a pointing position pointing at nothing. It’s the stupidest shit I’ve ever seen."
12."Turning owning guns into your entire personality."
"I am an army vet, drink black coffee, and watch football, but I don’t get the gun thing. I cringe every time someone starts talking about their latest AR build."
13."Your Jack Daniel's tastes like gasoline. You can keep it."
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14."I’ve kind of always found the practice some guys employ of shaming virgins or even just less sexually promiscuous people pretty bizarre and kind of disturbing. Having sex is not an achievement, nor is it some kind of gateway to manhood. A high body count does not necessarily mean you are more credible in matters of sexual discussion or that you are more manly, independent, more/less attractive, or even better at sex in general in some cases. Some people really do seem to be out here to ruin sex for everybody else sometimes with their ignorance and arrogance regarding the topic, and it does tend to get exhausting after a while."
"Also, I’d like to add that being a virgin does not automatically discredit one’s sexual preference in any way, whether that refers to one's sexuality or just simply their interest in having sex at all. Nor does it mean that you deserve ridicule of any kind or that you’re in some backward way a human of lesser rank, regardless of the reason for your virginity. It literally does not matter."
15."Being told that you should only drink one sort of alcohol and never any mixed or 'fruity,' pretty drinks. I work in the oil refinery industry and when I tell people that I enjoy margaritas and tequila sunrises, you would have thought that I slapped their wives."
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16."Worrying about complying with arbitrary masculine norms, while vehemently rejecting anything feminine. I get it. Society forces us to be one way but if we don’t fight it, then nothing will change."
17."Driving the biggest, loudest truck that you can afford (or even one that you can't). I love fast cars and all, but I also love money and stability."
"I’ve never really understood the appeal of loud cars and trucks, to be honest. I always just think, Man, your muffler needs to get looked at."
18."Recreational hunting. No, sir."
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"I understand hunting for food, but trophy hunters I just can't understand."
19."Alcoholism, especially in my country. you're not considered manly unless you spend every waking moment with a beer in your hand. That isn't manly. It's a problem with substance abuse and it needs to be dealt with."
20."Certain DIY projects. I had my garage insulated and literally saved money hiring someone because they get their materials at cost. Sometimes, doing manly DIY things is very dumb."
"One thing that being a software engineer has taught me is that in the longer run, maintaining something that is badly but cheaply done is a nightmare. Especially something important that you can't just scrap and start again. Mistakes get plastered over mistakes constantly until it's an absolute mess.
I'd much rather pay more money to get something important done properly once than try doing it myself and have to fix it regularly.
Growing up, my dad was the type to try and fix everything himself. While I really respect that in him, the fact was that basically nothing in the house worked properly and consistently."
21."Adding notches to your belt. I’ve only ever been with one woman and will be with her the rest of my life. What’s so masculine about having sex with strangers when you can sleep with your best friend and share your life together?"
22."Provoking a fight with another person just to engage in violence."
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23."Watching football. I simply cannot find it interesting in the slightest. I've tried but simply cannot get into it or any other sport. I don't think it's 'dumb,' but I wish it wasn't something that comes gaffer-taped to societal perceptions of masculinity."
"I loathe sports. I just can’t get into them. It's a bunch of grown men getting pissed off that some dude who doesn't know they exist couldn’t get a rubber ball into whatever various goal, and fanboying over millionaire players who are complete assholes in real life."
24."Not washing your butt because you're afraid it's gay. In fact, not doing anything because you're afraid it's gay can fall under this."
25."Shaming women for being promiscuous. For straight men to do this is absolutely asinine. They couldn't be shooting themselves in the foot any more than if they were literally shooting themselves in the foot with a gun. I've never been able to understand it even slightly."
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"It flies directly in the face of their own interests and it's so pervasive that women just assume that we all think this way."
26."Not showing emotions. If I want to cry, I'm going to cry without being worried that I'm less 'manly' because of it."
27."In recent years, it’s stuff like crypto, NFTs, and the two-week period where a bunch of random dudes who had never traded before were suddenly into stocks and throwing money at whatever the 'next big thing' was. I feel like I never see women bragging about this stuff to the extent dudes do. Go ahead and do what you want. It’s your money. Maybe just shut up about it."
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"So many guys think that talking about crypto and WallStreetBets makes them financially savvy, which means rich and successful somehow. Their entire life's worth can be described with numbers and commas at the end of a paycheck. I’m all for making money to have a good life but I feel like these guys make a hobby out of learning the new thing and then define themselves by their worth."
28."Doing stupid, risky, or unsavory things. Apparently, it shows that you have genes that can endure a stressful environment. Things like getting into fights, drinking until one's blackout drunk, jumping off of high places, racing cars, and other adrenaline-inducing activities, etc."
29."Personal hygiene. I used to get so much shit for getting manicures and pedicures with my wife, keeping my hair cut nice, wearing nice clothes in places where I don’t necessarily have to, smelling good, and more. When did it become manly to be a filthy slob?"
"It's like I’m supposed to jump in a pond, eat a raw fish that I caught with my teeth, and go take a shower in motor oil before I go to my dirty day job."
30."That a man should have a woman cook. I find cooking to be insanely therapeutic and a fun activity. It's a perfect 'effort being directly proportional to reward' activity, and I love it."
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31."A lot of my friends do one-upmanship in conversations. One has bought every type of car or motorcycle that I’ve bought and tried to tell me how superior his are because he paid less for his even though they keep breaking. Another dated my sister-in-law and kept telling her how they were going to do so much better than my wife and me, and have a better house, jobs, kids, cars, money, etc. She ended up leaving almost expressly because of it."
"Even down to me saying, 'Man I’m worn out. We’ve had mandatory overtime twice this week,' and my friend saying, 'That’s nothing, I work overtime every day anyway by choice. I’m way more tired than you.'
This shit drives my wife insane listening to my friends all trying to one-up each other."
32."Trying to define your rank in a professional environment by using commanding language or interrupting people. Your professional and social rank is determined by your actions but you're weird if you think that this means that you can force it up a notch by being a dickhead."
33."Talking crap about your partner. Other guys throw me off so much when they start talking about how 'the old ball and chain' have them so controlled or how they 'ruin the fun' and stuff like that."
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"It gets even worse when it becomes this sort of contributive or competitive thing and you're expected to join in. Then, I'll say something nice about my wife and apparently I'm the weirdo for liking the person whom I married."
34."Platonically showing affection to my guy friends, telling them that I love them, or expressing emotions in general."
"I don't think it is 'unmanly' to show emotions."
