68 Senior Quotes So Good You'll Kinda Want To Steal Them

This article contains content previously curated by Dave Stopera, Michelle Rennex, Syd Robinson Hattie Soykan, and Shyla Watson. It was compiled by Kelly Rissman.

Associated Press
Sizzling, twice-spiced beef skewers add a twist to a Memorial Day barbecue
Strips of beefy flat-iron steak are first combined with a mixture of sherry, soy sauce and oil to give them a deeply savory note. Keeping the meat in strips rather than cubes increases the surface area available for browning while ensuring it cooks quickly and evenly. While the meat is seasoned, the cumin, fennel and tingly Sichuan peppercorns are toasted until fragrant, then coarsely ground and combined with salt.
Associated Press
Target to lower prices on about 5,000 basic goods as inflation sends customers scrounging for deals
Target plans to cut prices on thousands of consumer basics this summer, from diapers to milk, as inflation cuts into household budgets and more Americans pay closer attention to their spending. The price cuts on as many as 5,000 food, beverage and household essential items announced Monday is a bid by Target to cater to customers who increasingly have deployed a mix of strategies to find relief at the register, including trading down to private label products, forgoing impulse buys, using coupons and waiting for deals. Walmart posted strong quarterly sales last week, driven by a influx of customers looking for bargains.
Reuters
Family in remote Himalayas gets own polling station for Indian election
Five people from one family in a remote Himalayan village voted in India's election in their own polling station on Monday after officials travelled for seven hours and borrowed a power connection from the military to enable them to cast their ballots. Officials collected the voting equipment on Sunday from Leh, capital city of the Himalayan federal territory of Ladakh, and boarded a bus, for the 180-km (110-mile) trip to Warshi - where the only voters were Rinchen, 23, her parents, and grandparents. Polling officials turned to the military Border Roads Organisation for electricity when the generator they had carried up failed to work.
Yahoo News
Trump trial live updates: Michael Cohen returns for more cross examination as judge eyes conclusion of trial
Judge Juan Merchan has told attorneys for both sides to prepare to deliver closing arguments as early as Tuesday.
CBS News
WikiLeaks' Assange can appeal against U.S. extradition, U.K. court rules
If extradited to the U.S., Julian Assange faces a potential 175 years in prison for publishing classified information about the wars in Afghanistan and Iraq.
Associated Press
Storms damage homes in Oklahoma and Kansas. But in Houston, most power is restored
Fast-moving storms with strong winds, large hail and apparent tornadoes swept Oklahoma and Kansas, blowing roofs off homes and blocking roads with toppled trees and downed power lines. Meanwhile, Houston made progress in recovering from last week's deadly storms. Nearly 20 homes were damaged in western Oklahoma's Custer County, with two people injured in Butler, state emergency officials said late Sunday.
Reuters
Threat from Israeli operations preventing Rafah crossing aid deliveries, says Egypt
"Now there is a military presence on the outskirts of the Rafah crossing and military operations that put aid convoys and truck drivers in danger," Sameh Shoukry told reporters after meeting his Greek counterpart in Cairo. "The procedures resulting from Israeli military operations affect the operation of the Rafah crossing," he said.
USA TODAY
Cargo ship Dali to be refloated to a marina 8 weeks after Baltimore bridge collapse
The cargo ship Dali is to be moved and refloated nearly two months after the Francis Scott Key Bridge collapse.
USA TODAY
WikiLeaks founder Julian Assange wins appeal to fight extradition to U.S.
The U.S. Justice Department indicted Assange in 2019 on 17 charges of espionage and one charge of computer misuse over his publication of classified U.S. diplomatic and military documents.
USA TODAY
Trump trial live updates: Michael Cohen is back on the stand for more cross-examination
Follow the latest updates from Donald Trump's criminal trial as Michael Cohen faces more cross-examination.
Associated Press
Pope trip to Luxembourg, Belgium confirmed for September, 2 weeks after challenging Asia visit
Pope Francis has added a stop in Luxembourg to a trip to Belgium in September, a three-day visit that will come as he is recovering from a much longer and challenging trip to Asia. The Vatican on Monday announced the Sept. 26-29 dates of the planned trip, saying Francis would first stop in Luxembourg and then travel onto Brussels, Leuven and Louvain-la-Neuve in Belgium. Belgium’s bishops had previously announced that Francis was coming to celebrate the 600th anniversary of the country’s two main Catholic universities.
Associated Press
Who is Jacob Zuma, the former South African president disqualified from next week's election?
Former South African President Jacob Zuma was barred Monday from running for Parliament in next week's national election over a previous criminal conviction, the latest twist in his return to politics. The decision by the country’s highest court, the Constitutional Court, may still be appealed. It ruled that Zuma is only eligible to serve as a lawmaker five years after his 2021 sentence for contempt of court was completed.
Yahoo Finance
JPMorgan predicts 2024 revenue boost as rate expectations shift
The nation's largest bank boosted expectations for a key revenue source in 2024 due partly to fewer rate cuts expected from the Federal Reserve.
AFP
Iran's nuclear negotiator Ali Bagheri named acting foreign minister
Iran's veteran nuclear negotiator Ali Bagheri, a harsh critic of the West, was Monday named acting foreign minister to replace the top diplomat killed in a helicopter crash along with the president.The new acting foreign minister has long experience with Iran's nuclear dossier -- the flashpoint issue that has pitted Tehran against major powers and arch foe Israel, who suspect it is seeking the atomic bomb.
AFP
Pope to visit Belgium, Luxembourg in September
Pope Francis, 87, will visit Belgium and Luxembourg in September, less than two weeks after returning from a 12-day trip to Asia, the Vatican announced on Monday."His Holiness Pope Francis will make an apostolic journey to Luxembourg on September 26 and in Belgium from September 26 to 29, going to Brussels, Louvain and Louvain-la-Neuve," the Vatican said in a statement.
AFP
Iran mourns president Raisi's death in helicopter crash
Iranian president Ebrahim Raisi was confirmed dead on Monday after search and rescue teams found his crashed helicopter in a fog-shrouded mountain region, sparking mourning in the Islamic republic.- Fog and rain - Iranian authorities first raised the alarm on Sunday afternoon when they lost contact with Raisi's helicopter as it flew through a fog-shrouded mountain area of the Jolfa region of East Azerbaijan province.
AFP
Gold hits high as Iran shock triggers haven support
The price of gold hit a record high Monday as the shock death of Iranian President Ebrahim Raisi in a helicopter crash boosted support for the precious metal seen as a haven investment."Gold and copper have hit record highs, (and) silver jumped to an 11-year high... after the death of Iran’s president in a helicopter crash," noted Neil Wilson, chief market analyst at Finalto trading group.
Reuters
Hungary detains captain of cruise ship involved in Danube collision
Hungary has detained the captain of a Swiss-based cruise ship involved in a collision with a small motor boat on the Danube River late on Saturday that killed two people, with five others still missing, police said on Monday. The accident was reported on Saturday night after a 35-year-old man was found with a bleeding head wound near a main road by the river near Veroce, 55 km (34 miles) north of the capital Budapest. The body of a man was recovered downstream south of Veroce, while a woman's body was found further downstream near a bridge on the northern outskirts of Budapest, where police also recovered the damaged motor boat.
Reuters
Shah Capital ends campaign against Novavax board after Sanofi deal
Under a deal signed on May 10, the French drugmaker will take a 4.9% stake in Novavax for $70 million at a lofty valuation. Shah Capital had also opposed proposals related to executive compensation. The fund, which owns an about 7.8% stake in Novavax, reiterated that the Sanofi agreement was a "long-awaited step in the right direction".
CNN
What is BORG drinking, and why is it a dangerous trend? An expert explains
The mixed drink BORG, or “blackout rage gallon,” has gained popularity with Gen Z college students. An expert explains why partying with this beverage is risky.

1."I'm not great at senior quotes. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?"

2."Ignorance is bliss; that's why I'm miserable."

3."I bet you didn't even know this was an option. 😉😎👳🏽‍♀️👌🏻🐫🇺🇸"

4."The only things straight about me are the lines I paint."

5."I'm sorry, did my shoulders distract you from reading this quote?" — Alexandra Kramer

6."WE" —Alice Nguyen

7."My A's turned to B's and so did my grades, God bless."

8."The carpet matches the drapes."

9."I need feminism because I intend on marrying rich, and I can't do that if my wife and I are making .75 cent for every dollar a man makes."

10."SpongeBob SquarePants, season 3, episode 25, minute 5:44"

11."That wasn't like High School Musical at all."

12."I'm that Nigerian prince that keeps emailing you."

13."I like my women how I like my coffee. I don't like coffee."

14."Now you can call me Madison Hypothesis because I'm an educated Guess." —Madison Guess

15."High School — Well...Just as I thought...Trash."

16."Someone post this as a meme. I need to prove that getting on the front page of r/me_irl is easy. They'll upvote anything, even a Senior quote."

17."At least my name wasn't Ted." —Blake Bundy

18."I was the Beyoncé in a school full of Michelles."

19."I like my coffee how I like myself: dark, bitter, and too hot for you."

20."You can't choose your father, but you can choose your daddy."

21."And they were roommates!" —Miriam Fitts

22."Shoot for the moon; if you miss you will die in outer space, which is cool." —Katya Zamolodchikova

23."What if one day you woke up and you were a chicken?"

24."I listen to The Weeknd more than I listen to my teachers."

25."Don't follow your dreams, follow me on Twitter @GeorgeNanouh!"

26."Whether I gave all my effort, or no effort, I'm always giving Max effort." —Maxwell Traylor

27."Ravioli, ravioli, give me my diplomioli."

28."Hannah Montana said nobody's perfect, but here I am."

29."Of all the verses in the good book, this one has gotten me through these four years: Lunch 12:22."

30."All y'all fake."

31."Of course I dress well, I didn't spend all that time in the closet for nothing."

32."All pizzas are personal pizzas if you try hard enough."

33."You can catch a lot of flies with honey, but you can catch more honeys being fly."

34."I am not Amith. I am a legend."

35."They say you are what you eat, but I don't remember eating a goat."

36."I have used my textbooks ONCE in these four years, it was as a plate for a waffle."

37."Yes I was born on a Tuesday. No, my brothers' names aren't Wednesday and Monday." —Tuesday Dermargosian

38."'You miss 100% of the shots you don't take. —Wayne Gretzky' —Michael Scott"

39."I'm already hungry tomorrow."

40."'Sam just stole my girl again.' —Everyone" —Samuel Teehee

41."I started high school with straight A's; now I'm not even straight."

42."'No.' —Rosa Parks"

43."Education is important but biceps are importanter."

44."Aye, the beat go off..." —Jason Sears

45."Don't follow your dreams... Follow my Twitter: @nerojordan."

46."Good morning folks let's get those vaccinations." —Viking Wadsworth

47."If I die, turn my tweets into a book." —Gina Linetti

48."Anything is possible when you sound Caucasian on the phone."

49."Narnia wasn't the only thing in the closet for 17 years..."

50."I did meet some of the most insufferable people, but they also met me." —Shane Madej

51."I was about to take a math test, but when I pulled out my calculator, it was a pop-tart. I still don't know who did it." —Marbury

52."My stummy hurt." —Playboi Carti

53."I once tried to say 'Justin Timberlake' out loud and it came out as 'Jimber Timber.'"

54."At least I didn't drop out of high school like Zayn dropped out of One Direction."

55."Goodbye everyone, I'll remember you all in therapy." —Plankton

56."I want to actually attend a full week of school."

57."That's hot." —Paris Hilton

58."Waking up is the second hardest thing in the morning."

59."The only reason I went to school all this time is to distract myself from the fact I'll never be Beyoncé."

60."I'm only 3 1/2 minutes younger..." —Allison Rowell

61."I want you to know that someone out there cares. Not me, but someone out there does."

62."'Are you guys twins?' Nope, just cousins." —Adrian Moreno

63."To all the teachers that never taught me a thing: Stranger Things, Season 2, Episode 5, 35:08."

64."Sometimes when my neighbor is gone, I roll around in her garden and pretend I'm a carrot."

65."If you like water, you already like 72% of me."

66."I love me a good pancake."

67."I'm not really funny, I'm just mean and people think I'm joking."

68."My computer screen is brighter than my future."

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